WhiteGirlWithaFatAss











{November 18, 2009}   My Anthem

Well as I walked towards work today, the STARS at the Time Warner Center glittered at me with their special kick to the crotch beauty.

As some of you know I have a complicated history with the beloved holiday that is Christmas.  This year, I will be focusing on the positive and working to raise money for NYC’s City Harvest.

But as I take a deep breath to once again brace myself for the Holidays, let’s take a moment to listen to this little ditty.  A special kind of Christmas song that when  Emphemerist first listened to it he proclaimed,

Finally, someone has written your Anthem!



I went to see Mel&EL at Comix last night and it was amazing.  They are an incredibly funny comic duo, with a deliciously bawdy sense of humor and since Mel& El have been friends since childhood there is a very endearing emotional center to their hilarious lifeshare.  Last night they performed one of my favorite songs.  If only I was 30 when I was 20.

Fav line: I could have spent 10 more years knowing I was friggin’ hot.

I have known the El of Mel& El since I was in college and watching her perform in front of this huge audience in a New York city comedy club, all I could think was, “Look at us! living in the future”

I can’t take credit for that line, it actually came from a childhood friend of mine who I knew only in first through third grade at a Catholic school in GA. She recently tracked me down via Facebook.  I moved around a lot growing up and was shocked that this childhood pal found me.  My biggest memory of that muggy Southern time was that the shriveled Nun who ‘taught’ art forced us to use only the yellow crayon to color people’s skin in our ALL SAINTS coloring book.  So even if you owned a peach or flesh crayon, you ended up with a book of jaundiced Saints.  To this day my sister won’t watch the Simpsons because they are Yellow.  I was pleasantly surprised when this long ago classmate and Catholic school survivor wrote me and electronically extolled,  Look at us! living in the future.

Watching El on stage last night, I flashed back to a time in college when I was frustrated by not getting cast in our theater department.  My boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend? I can’t remember we flipped back and forth a lot, tried to make me feel better by pointing out that El and I were the only girls called back for all three shows that semester.  I should be encouraged by the fact that I was even in the same category as her.   I laughed to myself over the memory and couldn’t help but think, look at El! living in the future.

Maybe I’m overusing the phrase but I’m on a sleep deficiency right now.  Thank you to everyone that came to the MEL& EL outing!

For those of you that didn’t CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MEL & EL!



Arrrgggghhh tomorrow be International Talk Like  a Pirate Day.

Since I can’t be bloggin in this swarthy fashion for long, I be sharin with you a right mighty way to celebrate the day. All ye landlubbers who be miserable in yur wee cubes, need to be takin a break and watch yurself me favorite new webseries

Pirates vs Hobos

Fav line:  “Some aren’t worth the bindles on their shoulders.”



{August 19, 2009}   Jaded Juice

Good day!

In the continued effort to maintain a life balance, I have a negative tale and a joyful promotion to share with you my lovely readers.  And because I am my Father’s daughter, I will lead with the negative. This true account of my street interaction with a sleazy stranger is dedicated to my good friend Daphne.  I shall title this brief life play, YOU KNOW YOU ARE JADED WHEN…

Walking out of a bodega in my  neighborhood this weekend, a very unsavory fellow sidled up beside me on the street and our conversation went a little something like this:

Him:  Oh, beautiful lady. Beautiful lady,  so beautiful.

Me:  Yeah, fucking lot of good it’s done me.

And scene.  **Insert Emoticon Bow Here**

On the flip side, here is a really fun way that you can support Arts for All, a great non-profit arts organization that serves in-need children ages 4-19, by drinking shiny happy Jamba Juice!!

Help bring the arts to in-need children by making a purchase at Jamba Juice THIS FRIDAY, August 21st. Just mention us at the register!

Jamba Juice, in New York City, will be sponsoring Arts for All, Inc. in a special promotion on Friday, August 21st. Simply mention Arts for All at the register anytime on August 21st, and 20% of your purchase will go to serving in-need children through the arts! Arts for All will also have a free children’s arts and craft station from 1-5pm at all participating locations (with the exception of the Union Square location), so bring your children!

Participating Locations:

*Jamba Juice located in Tribeca at 88 West Broadway, between Warren and Chambers

*Jamba Juice located at Houston and Mercer

*Jamba Juice located at 23rd Street and 5th Avenue

*Jamba Juice located at Union Square South on University Place

*Jamba Juice located at 24th Street and 7th Avenue

*Jamba Juice located at 13th Street and 6th Avenue

For more information, visit www.arts-for-all.org

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Note: This is the first time I have used the ‘f word’ in my blog.  Not counting Frak.  This was unavoidable in order to depict my brief life play as accurately as possible.  Thank you.



et cetera