We are receiving an early dismissal from my work today due to Labor Day weekend.  I love that termage, it gives me the mental image of running down a huge set of stone steps towards sweet, sweet freedom. Books, pencils, and papers flying into the air…

But before the onset of this last summer weekend, how about we play some Free Rice.  Where yous can improve them brainskilz whiles helping to fight world hunger.

Today’s work: FECKLESS = INEFFECTIVE

Things that I have found particularly FECKLESS lately as I make my way through this cruelly beautiful world of ours:

• Mechanical pencils. Give me a #2 Ticonderoga over this silly plastic excuses for a pencil with their ever-snapping off lead.
• Gesundheit.  I’m sorry I know it’s un-PC but when I sneeze, don’t Gesundheit me.  My heart just stopped (is that true? not sure) and my open mouth allows the devil to fly inside.  Would a ‘God Bless you’  kill you?  Cross your fingers if you’re an Atheist.  Or does being an Atheist negate the finger crossing need?
• Internet dating.  I’m not saying but I’m just saying.
• Handing out flyers on the street.  Quick poll: Has anyone ever gone to a psychic or bought insurance from one of those?
• Splitting the check evenly.  How is making me pay the same as you owe regardless of what I did or did not eat or drink even?
• Google Docs.  I know I’m a dull bulb amongst sharp crayons but I’m lost…
• Oh, LOST.  The show.  Both last season, and the year we have to wait for the next one.
• Drummers in subway stations.  Feckless as entertainers.  Effective at making me want to push someone into an oncoming train.
• Going to spin class.  Actually that’s totally effective unless you fecklessly stuff your face at brunch after.
• Trying to coordinate group events.
• Direct requests.  Shockingly feckless lately, I’m going back to good ‘ole passive aggressive.
• Jalapeno Poppers, when did these become nothing but thawed TGIFriday fare? Is there a popper with some real kick left out there?
• Melon ballers.  don’t get me wrong, I love me some melon balls.  But have you ever tried to use one?
• My brain.

I think that last item on the list is my way of saying that it’s time to run towards sweet, sweet, freedom.  Enjoy your holiday weekend and do some good – Play Free Rice!

Check back next week for more on the WGWaFA feckless-free Hunger Action Month Event.

Happy Free Rice Friday!

Where you can “totes” improve your vocab while helping the UN World Food Program to end hunger.  Today’s Word is MACE.

Playing Free Rice this afternoon, on our 200th day of rain here in NYC, I was a bit surprised to come across the word MACE and not be quite sure of the answer out of the choices given.  Mace, as I know it, is the pepper spray that I was given by my Mother upon moving to New york.  Actually, it was a cute little can of mini-Mace that you could hang from your key chain.  This was only one of many anti-Rape gifts my Mother has bestowed upon me over the years.

Some highlights being – These little jeweled ornaments to encircle the stem of your wine glass.  They were very cute and I didn’t instantly pick up on the anti-Rape theme until my Mother insisted that I had to bring them with me when I went out to bars.  To mark my wine glass so that I could keep an eye on my drink.  So I wouldn’t end up getting roofied.  I tried to convince her that this wasn’t what these ornamental chotchkies were for, but she wasn’t having it.  We went round and round on the issue until in a burst of Mom-logic I finally countered with,

But if someone wanted to rape me in particular Mom, isn’t this just making it easier by identifying exactly which wine glass is mine?

And that was that.  My all time favorite anti-Rape gift was this large square kind of strobe flashlight that hung around your neck.  It came in this old fashioned cardboard box, taped shut so it was obviously a thrift store item, and the cover featured a picture of a girl in 70s garb running through the park holding the flashing light to alert police officers to her plight.   Opening up this treasure, I was amused to discover that this chunky anti-Rape necklace had a large switch on one side.  If you flip the switch up, a beam of stunningly bright light pulsates forth.  If you flip the switch down, the device emits an ear-splitting siren whistle.  My immediate thought was, why one or the other?  What an immense amount of pressure to put on a woman who is being attacked.

Siren or Light.  Siren or Light? Siren or Light!

Should you really have to choose between the two when the moment comes?  So with this plethora of knowledge behind me, I was surpised to find out that MACE did not mean what I thought.

mace = medieval battle club

At first I mused if this was like a dark ages Fight Club, but it is actually probably exactly what you imagined.  A weapon with a heavy head on a solid shaft used to bludgeon opponents.   The first anti-Rape gift.

CLICK HERE to donate to my Charity Badge and Feeding America. Every dollar you give today will provide $15 worth of food and groceries for men, women, and children facing hunger.  During these difficult times, more families are pouring into the Nation’s  food banks in desperate need. It’s time to take bold steps to help them. To meet the surge in demand, Feeding America must raise $1,099,000 before their fiscal year ends on June 30.

Their board of directors has offered a $225,000 matching grant to inspire supporters to give. So, please, give as generously as you can while your gift will be doubled.

I’m actually too tired to play FREE RICE this Friday. But you should!

Friday? Really it is only Friday. Monday, really? Have I only not been drinking since Monday? Wow. This might be harder than I thought. It’s funny how when you vocalize, put out a challenge, then the little dude immediately comes after you.  One of my favorite phrases growing up was, “God’s out to get me” but I don’t think he is. I prefer to think that:

 A. I can’t possible define exactly who and what God is and,

B. This indefinable entity has better things to do than ‘get me’

So I started thinking of this force that likes to twist the fabric of my life as the Little Dude. Which I know means I have assigned a decidedly male persona to this evil entity. But before you go complaining real life Dudes, God’s been decidedly male for eons so sometimes you just got to take the good with the bad. Over the years I have known that the Little Dude has laughed his little head off when I

• Accidentally mooned the entire theater company I was living and working at (that’s a great story, will tell someday)

• Bought a $200 silk dress for my friend’s wedding that I could in no way afford because I was trying to pretend I wasn’t freaked out having to go to it as the only single girl, only to have a jerk dump an entire glass of red wine on me in the first fifteen minutes of the reception

• Moved to Queens and discovered that I somehow had moved myself directly between my ex-boyfriends from college, both of whom I had dated while living in Florida.

 The Little Dude, had a good time this week. Wednesday night, I went to my class at NYU that I am taking through work. It is a good class, I’m learnings lots of writing skillz and such, but sometimes a girl doesn’t want to learn about Bibliographies. She wants to go home and watch LOST. Even though she knows she will yell at the screen because the show angers her so much. But I was good. I went to class. And they had FREE PIZZA. Are you kidding me? Free Pizza, and cookies, and we took this long ass break in the middle of what is only a two hour class to eat. I know that everything in moderation, blah, blah, blah…. But this is my first week of really getting back to the gym, eating my veggies and what not. Now here I am, in a place I didn’t even really want to be, bored, tired, hungry, and literally imprisoned with free Pizza and cookies. I did not eat any. Just to bite my thumb at the Little Dude. And I went to the gym on the way home. So there.

Last night, I went out to see some bands in Williamsburg. My old hood. It felt really strange but fun to be walking around. I bar hopped to see various friends’ bands. I felt like such a bad ass with multiple stamps on my arm by the end of the night. And I did not drink. It was really hard. I’m an old lady and to be out that late, listen to music that loud, and have my old lady feet hurting in my swanky boots without sucking back a few was difficult. But you know, as dorky as it sounds, I had fun. My favorite band of the night was MONUMENTS and I can honestly say that I diged their sound (man I am a dork) because I was sober for once. Check them out.

I’m not saying that I’m not going to drink for the rest of my life (is it may 15^th yet) but it’s good to know that you can break old patterns and still have a lot of fun. CLICK HERE to donate to Feeding America in support of my efforts! And email me at wgwafa@gmail.com you could win a free ticket to MEL &EL on May 15^th!! Come on man, peer pressure for charity. Dig it.

 

For the first time in WGWaFA History I have a RETRACTION to my warblings.  Or at least one that I will fess up too.  In my April Fool’s Post:  Dear You, From Fool

I realized walking home last night that EATIST was right.  My Window Boyfriend is located on Central Park SOUTH.  Not at Central Park WEST as I previously stated.

Wow, you guys really are reading.  Hot.  Now CLICK HERE TO DONATE.  Every dollar will help provide 10 pounds of food for families in need!

Or, if you are unable to donate take some time this Rainy Friday to play FREE RICE

and learn to use fun words like RETRACTION while you help the UN World Food Program fight world hunger.