A friend of mine commented to me that I have dated more since my breakup than she has in her entire life.  In the overall context of our e-conversation, this was a compliment.  And yes, it has been quite the bobsled ride.  There are funny stories, ridiculous stories, and ridiculously funny stories in regards to my ups and downs and waiting arounds with the opposite sex.  It fact, the next person who asks,  “Are you writing this all down? because it is wonderful material for your next screenplay.” is going to get punched in the throat.

Last winter, I even received the most horrifying text from a male suitor that I have ever gotten in my life.  I was tempted to write about it at the time, but I couldn’t even retype the words and further perpetuate their power in this universe.  But hey, if you are dying to hear CLICK HERE to donate to Feeding America via my Charity Badge and email me at wgwafa@gmail.com for the full story.  That’s right people donate, you know you want to hear it.

I find that I  struggle with my weight when on a dating streak. I’ll blame it on going out to dinner more, or drinking to dull first dates that have devolved into tiny life interviews making me wish I could just hand them a resume and skip it all.

Check out my special skills.  References can be made available, but only upon request.

But the real truth is that dating downs like Mr. Mortifying Texter drive me straight to comfort eating.  Not that this a proper excuse.  It’s not.  It’s a pattern.  I know it, I own it, but I do it anyway.   Why?  I could state a bunch of bitterly frank phrases like:

• Because somewhere along the line I confused Macaroni & Cheese for love
• Because the only thing that gets ‘Burned’ with Pizza is the roof of your mouth
• Because the delivery man always shows up when you call

Secretly I fear it’s also because, in the moment, it genuinely makes me happy.   There is a movie quote that I love.  From Jerry Maguire, a movie that I don’t love.  But this quote often rumbles through my mind,

I’ve had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Swap out ‘book’ for Battlestar Galactica and ‘bath’ for ice cream, and I hear you girl!

Not to say that this is anyone’s fault. But sometimes regardless of knowledge, comfort is needed.  Somewhere along the line I chose eating for comfort and have relied on food as Plan B on many a post-date night.

I know it, I own it, but I no longer hate myself for doing it.  And I am hopeful that as I continue to find new things that bring me happiness, I won’t do it as often. But it’s a tough world out there, and sometimes comfort is needed.  Here is a great way you can share a little comfort and help support Feeding America if you are unable to donate.

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
Feeding America proudly partners with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for the “Share a Little Comfort” campaign. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is one of America’s classic comfort foods. Knowing the comfort that a simple dish like macaroni and cheese can bring to tables across the country, Kraft is sharing that feeling with those in need with this campaign. Now, with the simple click of a mouse, anyone who visits www.ShareALittleComfort.com can contribute a box to Feeding America. Every click means that one box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese will help feed the hungry … up to one million boxes! Kraft will be making a $100,000 contribution in conjunction with “Share a Little Comfort”. Please visit www.ShareALittleComfort.com to donate a box today.

I went to see Mel&EL at Comix last night and it was amazing.  They are an incredibly funny comic duo, with a deliciously bawdy sense of humor and since Mel& El have been friends since childhood there is a very endearing emotional center to their hilarious lifeshare.  Last night they performed one of my favorite songs.  If only I was 30 when I was 20.

Fav line: I could have spent 10 more years knowing I was friggin’ hot.

I have known the El of Mel& El since I was in college and watching her perform in front of this huge audience in a New York city comedy club, all I could think was, “Look at us! living in the future”

I can’t take credit for that line, it actually came from a childhood friend of mine who I knew only in first through third grade at a Catholic school in GA. She recently tracked me down via Facebook.  I moved around a lot growing up and was shocked that this childhood pal found me.  My biggest memory of that muggy Southern time was that the shriveled Nun who ‘taught’ art forced us to use only the yellow crayon to color people’s skin in our ALL SAINTS coloring book.  So even if you owned a peach or flesh crayon, you ended up with a book of jaundiced Saints.  To this day my sister won’t watch the Simpsons because they are Yellow.  I was pleasantly surprised when this long ago classmate and Catholic school survivor wrote me and electronically extolled,  Look at us! living in the future.

Watching El on stage last night, I flashed back to a time in college when I was frustrated by not getting cast in our theater department.  My boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend? I can’t remember we flipped back and forth a lot, tried to make me feel better by pointing out that El and I were the only girls called back for all three shows that semester.  I should be encouraged by the fact that I was even in the same category as her.   I laughed to myself over the memory and couldn’t help but think, look at El! living in the future.

Maybe I’m overusing the phrase but I’m on a sleep deficiency right now.  Thank you to everyone that came to the MEL& EL outing!

For those of you that didn’t CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MEL & EL!