I have always been a woman of contrasts.   While verbally striving towards better health, I physically sit clutching a large coffee while completely hungover in the coffee shop across the street from me.   And nothing in the world sounds better right now than this corporate promotion for Feeding America.

The Cheesecake Factory
Celebrating “30 Delicious Years,” The Cheesecake Factory is serving up several sweet initiatives throughout the year. A special, limited edition cheesecake, the 30th Anniversary Chocolate Cake Cheesecake, was introduced on July 30 with $0.25 from the sale of each slice sold this year benefiting Feeding America.

 

A way to have your Cheesecake and eat too.  Although I have to say I’ve never really understood that phrase.  What would you do with the cake if you didn’t eat it? Is there some sort of moral highground to just having non-eaten cake hanging around on your person? Or is it that you should have never desired the cake in the first place? I’m overthinking this.  Go buy some cheesecake, in the name of good.  Hey maybe if you buy it and then give it to someone else to eat then that is the perfect solution.

Oh, fyi there has been over 200 hits since the posting of Bare Ass 2008!  Results.  I’m imposing a new rule if you checked my heiney out, please  click here to donate.  Dudes, it’s only fair.  The more money raised for Feeding America the easier it will be to defend the cause to my Dad when he figures out that I actually went through with it.

I love the number 23 and as a lot of my friends know I am obsessed with its occurrence in life, literature, and Lost.  This may be why I so keenly remember an article last year that proclaimed January 23rd as being the most depressing day of the year.  Something to do with the cold, and the bills hitting from Christmas, and mercury being in retrograde. Although, the only time I ever hear about Mercury it is in retrograde. And I don’t even know what that means, except that it is another reason to blame life’s suckiness on. 

I remember having a complete meltdown on the 23rd last year, that landed me into a fit of tears so bad a friend offered to come over to my apartment to be with me after hearing my broken voice on the phone.  I didn’t even know why I was so morbidly upset.  Then later I read the article and was somewhat relieved that I wasn’t a crazy freak but trendy in my depression. 

I also posted a before picture of myself titling the entry B.C. = Before Cardio

At that time, I think I envisioned myself some jaw dropping perfect skinny weight by the time Bare Ass 2008! had come to a close. Looking at the picture now, I’m not sure that I really look all that different.  But I certainly feel different.  I’m not a perfect person by any means.  I still have my struggles ahead.

Speaking of cardio, I have barely gone to the gym at all these last two weeks. And just this past Wed night I got really drunk at a singles event (I could argue going to a singles event almost requires one to get drunk) and then topped off the evening by getting Chinese take-out which I ate late that night, the next morning for breakfast, and just to be tidy the rest for lunch. 

After posting the tasteful heiney shot yesterday, I freaked out a bit.  The hits on the site have gone through the roof and I didn’t really tell any of my friends that I had made the post.  I found myself completely unable to compose a  ‘Hey go look at my Ass’ email.  So it was oddly comforting when I looked up what I wrote on this day last year.  The most depressing day of the year. 

Last January 23rd, I had lost 8lbs and raised $450 for Feeding America.  How far we have come!  Tasteful Heiney shot or no. 

This is not the most depressing day of the year.  It is a good one.  I’ve still got a long way to go but it makes me excited to see where I will be on Jan 23, 2010. 

If you have checked out the Bare Ass 2008! results and support what I’ve been doing please CLICK HERE TO DONATE  to Feeding America.   I’m simultaneously fascinated and scared to death about who all these people are checking out the results.

This Martin Luther King Day, the day before a new administration captured the attention of not only America but the world, I found myself embarking on the final steps of momentous journey. Or to say it straight, I trekked through the snow to the East Village to have a photo of my ass taken.  For the next month, the Bare Ass 2008! Results will appear under Pages on the sidebar as a password protected page.

Since then I found myself completely unable to write about the experience.  It wasn’t so much fear, but once the time arrived and I wasn’t sure how to proceed.  It is a quite a lot to sit with, to have a CD full of naked pictures of yourself in your bag and to know that after all that has happened this year  I had to post one of them here. 

 

The week going into the ‘Ass Shot’ as my photographer Francine nicknamed it, I started to freak out.  First about the obvious things:

 

A.      Everyone was going to see my bare ass.

B.      Anybody that I meet from this point on in my life may Google me, find this site, and think I’m insane.  Which isn’t too far from the truth.

C.      Even though I said that this blog was all about letting go of body issues, and loving myself as I am, I am way to fat to do this.

 

Then came the more random thoughts, which somehow freaked me out more:

 

A.      The mark from where I burned my ass on the heat pipe is still visible.

B.      In the winter my skin breaks out from dryness… everywhere. 

C.      I was going to have to see my bare ass. 

 

I then spent the next few days performing more ass grooming than I ever have in my life.  Don’t get dirty on me now kids, by that I mean exfoliating scrubs, vitamin E for my heat pipe scar, lotions for the dry skin on my back, butt, legs.  I also have a lot of freckles all over my back from years of reckless frolicking in the summer sun that make me look like a speckled mackerel.  And it is January so I am white as a ghost.  But I decided to keep my priorities straight and focus my wigging out on my ass.  Taking a naked picture of the part of the body that you have always been the most self-conscious about should include the side benefit of being able to let all the twenty million other things you hate about your body go. 

 

On the way over, walking through the snowy East Village I suddenly became very serene about the whole thing.  I am what I am. This is what I look like and there is nothing wrong with that.  I will continue to strive towards a healthier body and making better lifestyle choices but there is no ideal version of myself that I have to smoosh my figure into before I can be happy.  This picture is happening today, now, and that is good. Because one way or another life is now.   I spoke to a friend on the way over and when we ended the conversation she said,

 

“Happy Ass Photo!”  

 

And it was.  Francine was a total doll and the whole afternoon felt like a professional shoot in her home studio. She is an amazing artist and I encourage you to check out her website.   For all my actor friends she does headshots too.  We picked out fabrics and talked about various poses and practiced before starting the real session.  Here’s me trying one out on the couch, pants still on. 

 

 

 

 

Then came the real deal.  Did I want to get down to my undies and try a few then first to ease into it?  I decided No.  I got straight down to my birthday suit, but clung to the fabric we were using like a lifejacket.  However, about an hour later I was totally over any feelings of shame that I had.  It was a wild experience to just be there, exposed, and have to ease into my own body.  But what really struck me was reviewing all the photos to pick out what I might want to use.  For lack of a more eloquent phrase, it was the weirdest thing ever.  There was a time when I never could have imagined scrolling through countless photos of my naked self without dropping dead from shame.  Although, I then became obsessed about this pooch of back fat by my upper arm.  Apparently my brain does not know how to fully function without something negative to focus in on.   

  

One of my other favorite moments is when Francine got upset after we finished because she forgot the joke she had planned to say while we were taking pictures.

 

What was the joke?

When we were shooting I was going to say…  “SAY CHEESE!” 

 

So that is it.  Bare Ass 2008! has come to a close.  You can check out the results of the year, including the tasteful heiney shot on the Bare Ass 2008! Results password protected page. 

 

 

• THE PASSWORD IS: bareass    All one word. All lowercase.

 

 

It is there for you to see but only if you want.  I did this in consideration of my good friend Jason. One of the first people to donate to Bare Ass 2008! his donation came with the rider ‘But I don’t want to see your ass!’

 

I’m not sure exactly what 2009 is going to bring.  But I thought it very good timing to receive this message from Feeding America.  If you are inspired by my journey, please still Donate to my Charity Badge  or below is a great way to start a journey of your own while helping others in need. 

Give Back And Get Healthy With the Pound For Pound Challenge 
Feeding America, General Mills and The Biggest Loser have joined forces to support the Pound For Pound Challenge, which is helping Americans lose weight and providing hunger relief. There are three ways you can get involved:
 

• Pledge to lose weight and for every pound you lose by April 27, 2009, General Mills will donate 10 cents to Feeding America – enough to secure and distribute one pound of groceries to a local food bank.
• Mail in the Pound For Pound seals from specially-marked General Mills products. For every seal received by December 31, 2009, General Mills will donate 10 cents to Feeding America.
• Give now directly to Feeding America.

Through the Challenge, General Mills hopes to contribute $775,000 to Feeding America to help secure millions of pounds of groceries. You can learn more about this unique program here.

1. City Harvest

Okay so Obama doesn’t actually support my Fat Ass, but he is sending out a call to support your local Foodbank.

WGWaFA,

During difficult times like these, it’s more important than ever to reach out to our neighbors in need. And as part of the “Renew America Together” initiative, we can help Americans struggling with hunger.

President-elect Obama has called on Americans to participate in a National Day of Service on January 19 - Martin Luther King, Jr. Day – and to support their local food banks.

Today, I’m asking you to join Feeding America in answering that call!

Our network food banks across the country will be hosting programs you can join to help your neighbors in need.

I urge you to get involved now. Find the nearest Feeding America network food bank that serves your local community and see how you can help.

If you want to do your part, but can’t volunteer, click here to give a gift to help feed families struggling with hunger. Every dollar you give will help provide 7 meals!

Please, consider how you can be a part of “Renew America Together,” and take action today.

Sincerely,

Vicki Escarra
President and CEO

 

On this National Day of Service, I have scheduled my ‘tasteful heineyshot’ photo session.  I’m not quite sure if President (I’ve dropped the elect. Deal with it.) Obama really had Bare Ass 2008! in mind when he sent out this National Call.  But it seems a fitting day to get my ass in gear.  As it were. 

This is my local food bank:

Web Site: www.cityharvest.org

575 Eighth Avenue, Fourth Floor
New York, NY 10018

On Jan 19th, I will make a donation to City Harvest in honor of Francine the wicked talented photographer who has graciously offered her services to take ‘the ass shot’ for me.  Not the most traditional day of service, but it will be an experience.  One that I will definitely be sharing with you all.  Think about what you might do in the name of hunger this January 19th. 

As you may have noticed I fell slightly shy of my fund raising goal – think glass half full people.  However, the higher the amount raised the more FA that I will bare… So please feel free to CLICK HERE TO DONATE  between now and Jan 19th.