One of my favorite bloggers Margarita, whose weight loss journey on Body by Glamour has been incredible, posted a type of mad lib that asked the question, what would you do if you suddenly woke up loving your own body.  here’s mine (my answers are bolded and underlined):

If I loved my own body:

If I woke up one morning suddenly adoring my body, the first thing I’d do is Swim and Win a 200m IM Race . I’d allow myself to eat Nachos &Guacamole when I felt like it because I’d know that moderation, not deprivation or overindulgence, is the healthiest way to go. I’d exercise to have fun and keep my body healthy, (rather than lose five more pounds, or to work off last night’s dessert, or this morning’s binge), so I’d stop SPIN -ing and Salsa Dance instead. I’d finally be fearless enough to Flirt at a Swim Up Bar, and I wouldn’t feel self-conscious or bad about it, and anyone who would look down on me is just a/an Frakking Cylon anyway. When I get home, a romp between the sheets would be Dirty and Tantric because I wouldn’t be bashful about ripping off my clothes. Hell, I bet it would be better than that scene in Buffy, the one where Buffy& Spike level that old house with their forbidden passion. Afterwards, I’d burn all of my Baggy Sweaters and wear a Short Sparkly Dress and sexy shoes to Gold Bar. I’d go to Michael Phelps ’s house without even looking in the mirror! I’d even do / go To Pick up my Laundry without a shred of self-consciousness. Or I’d go out to a party and spend more time Dancing with my Secret Crush than obsessing about the party food or clinging to the wall feeling insecure. In fact, if I focused more on my body’s awe-inspiring ability to Execute a perfect Flip-turn rather than on how I look, I’d probably start calling myself Luna Moth. Plus, with all the money I’d save not buying Every 8-Min VHS video known to Man, I’d have extra cash to put toward BARE ASS 2008! One thing is for sure: I wouldn’t give a hoot if my Brooklyn Ass started to sag, because I would be too busy toasting my Kick-ass Courage!

Now here’s a version you can easily copy and then paste it into the comments section to fill in your OWN answers. First one to do it wins a Fabulous White Girl With a Fat Ass PRIZE!!

If I woke up one morning suddenly adoring my body, the first thing I’d do is [something you would like to accomplish] . I’d allow myself to eat [favorite indulgent food] when I felt like it because I’d know that moderation, not deprivation or overindulgence, is the healthiest way to go. I’d exercise to have fun and keep my body healthy, (rather than lose five more pounds, or to work off last night’s dessert, or this morning’s binge), so I’d stop [dreaded exercise ending in "ing"] and [favorite heart-pumping activity] instead. I’d finally be fearless enough to [something you are afraid to do], and I wouldn’t feel self-conscious or bad about it, and anyone who would look down on me is just a/an [insulting name] anyway. When I get home, a romp between the sheets would be [glowing adjective] because I wouldn’t be bashful about ripping off my clothes. Hell, I bet it would be better than that scene in [steamiest movie you've ever seen]. Afterwards, I’d burn all of my [clothing you wear on ugly/fat days] and wear [clothing/outfit you long to wear] and sexy shoes to [favorite nightspot]. I’d go to [famous person] ’s house without even looking in the mirror! I’d even do / go[Saturday errand] without a shred of self-consciousness. Or I’d go out to a party and spend more time [action verb ending in "ing"] than obsessing about the party food or clinging to the wall feeling insecure. In fact, if I focused more on my body’s_awe-inspiring ability to [personal physical accomplishment] rather than on how I look, I’d probably start calling myself [nickname for a superhero of your own gender] . Plus, with all the money I’d save not buying [regrettable weight-loss purchase], I’d have extra cash to put toward [big dream in need of funding]. One thing is for sure: I wouldn’t give a hoot if my [body part] started to sag, because I would be too busy toasting my [personal strength]!

One week to go till the Final Weigh in for Former Phat Fcuks! And till the summer olympics brings Michael Phelps back into my life.

In my new favorite tradition of comparing my present weight with an inanimate object in questionably healthy exercise of adjusting my perspective:  At 175lbs I weigh the same as a Gill Men’s Pacer FX Pole.

“Revolutionary design facilitates optimal harmony between pole and vaulter, resulting in higher clearances. S-type fiberglass produces lighter pole with smaller grip and more “horsepower” than conventional poles.”

Mostly I enjoy that in this context 175lbs is referred to as ‘unconventional’ and a ‘lighter pole.’  And that somewhere in the world a Man is being chucked high into the air by a pole that weighs as much as I do.   

Gives new thought to the phrase ‘I can trust him about as far as I can throw him.’  

A special shout out to my Sister who kindly educated me on the fact that this pole does the throwing. And is not the kind that is thrown like I had originally thought.  Being olympically challenged.  There’s nothing worse than getting your poles mixed up.  So for those of you who may still be confused here’s a visual.

America’s Second Harvest the organization that WGWaFA readers have successfully raised $1620 for through Bare Ass 2008! is changing its name.

Hunger in America is a big problem. Together, we’ve done a lot and made a big difference. But we believe we can win the fight against hunger in our country. That’s why America’s Second Harvest is becoming Feeding America.

Feeding America.  I like that.  The organization says that research showed people were confused about exactly what they do.  And this new name cleanly states their mission of fighting hunger and feeding Americans.   There is a lot of power in a name.  Especially as we have less and less time to read or properly absorb the myriad of digital information we are barraged with everyday.

I chose White Girl With a Fat Ass for this blog to call out and stamp out the insecurity that I have about my body.  And also to catch peoples’ attention towards my goal.   Besides, I don’t think anyone would want to read a blog titled:

 ‘I got dumped before Christmas -again- and if I don’t stop emotionally binging on ben&jerry’s my bum foot is never going to heal or I may simply go insane and start pushing people in front of the A train.’

Last post, I solicited people’s thoughts about my Bare Ass 2008! campaign for this very reason.  To see how the branding I chose for my mission to help fight hunger while overcoming my own body issues has impacted people.  One comment from my fav Ephemerist supported my efforts and purposed launching his own Sweaty Balls 2009! campaign next year. 

Let’s all pause in this busy world and reflect on that notion. 

Admittedly this blog is centered on me as a place of release, support, and accountability for my health and body image goals.  But it has also lead me to incredible organizations like Network for Good, The Hunger Site, and Feeding America.   Eating all the catering fallout from my office after a meeting to keep it from going to waste helps no one and leaves me frantic and depressed.  Raising awareness and money for those going without, while I struggle everyday against filling the void with dairy products, has for the first time made weight loss a positive experience.  One of celebrating health rather than suffering through deprivation.

• Last year, 99% of food banks experienced an increase in hungry people due to the rising costs of rents, mortgages, fuel. 
• 81% of food banks are unable to meet this demand without reducing the amount of food or their operations due to the same rising costs.
• Obesity is taking over tobacco as the number one killer in America.

Does that mean people are fat and lazy and don’t care?  I don’t believe so.  We are out of balance.  It is easier to get a fast food burger than vegetables, and cheaper to buy sugary drinks than milk. People are obese because they are poor.  Emotionally as well as physically.  Because they are uneducated both about what they are eating, and where their need to eat comes from. I have great shame in being unable to control my eating while others go hungry.  But that didn’t stop me from buying massive amounts of nacho fixings on the way home from a bar, still tipsy from a night of hopeful flirtations and compounded disappointments.  And that was just earlier this summer, well after I had started Bare Ass 2008! 

We all need what we need to help us get through.  A friend once commented to me that she admired how well-balanced I always was while she felt out of control all the time.  I laughed and told her how just the other morning I suddenly sat down on the floor of my shower and cried hysterically.  Simply because,

“I realized, one way or another, I had to live the rest of my life.”

 

We all need what we need to help us get through.  But helping others is huge and sometimes the first step to getting outside our own heads and finding balance.  CLICK HERE TO DONATE and please pass this site onto your friends and family. 

The final Former Phat Fcuks weigh-in is two weeks from tomorrow.  Thursday August 7th, 8:00 at the PIT.  For the next two weeks I will be working as hard as I can to break the $2000 mark for Bare Ass 2008! and to take 1st place in the competition.  Any money I win with be donated to Feeding America through this blog.   Comment below or email me at wgwafa@gmail.com  with any suggestions or pledges of support for winning.

 

 

I was visiting my Aunt this past holiday weekend in Gloucester on Cape Ann, outside of Boston, where my Mother grew up.  My Aunt is a beautiful woman with a similar body shape to my own.  Having her own Brooklyn Ass, I always felt a special bond with her.  Why if I recognize that she is a beautiful woman did I never equate that with my own similar body type is an age old mystery better pondered at a different time.

We were parked outside a Dunkin Donuts, which I have to just say are wonderful in the Boston area and make my skin crawl in NYC, when she pointed out a lady to me inside reading the paper.  My Aunt then shared a story that she had never told anyone else.  Who would have ever thought this banal looking woman pursuing last night’s Red Sox scores played such a scaring role in my Aunt’s childhood? This woman once said something very nasty to my Aunt in the fourth grade about her body that has stayed with her all these years.   Why do we carry these things with us for the rest of our lives?  And wouldn’t it be great if the rules of the world had allowed me to walk into d’n'd and pour that woman’s iced coffee over her head?  Maybe kids would be a little more careful with their damaging words if the possibility of an avenging niece assaulting you with caffeinated beverages years later was in play.

I identified with this story greatly.  Having a few of my own.  White Girl With a Fat Ass is named after a incident that haunted me for years.  Since I started this blog many people have commented to me that maybe the man who chased me chanting ‘white girl with a fat ass’ meant Phat.  As in a compliment to my luscious Brooklyn ass.  No.  I think anyone out there who has stories like this one, or my Aunt’s, knows the difference between a catcall and life altering meanspiritness.  In this case, I also know there was something mentally wrong with this abandoned soul who wandered the streets of times square at the crack of dawn.  still up from the night before.  But at the time my humiliation far exceeded any empathy for him.

My Aunt asked me why if my own brooklyn ass was my greatest source of shame would I be offering to post it bare on the Internets if I raised my goal amount?  That is exactly why.  To overcome the one thing that I have defined myself with my whole life.  To celebrate it and motivate myself to work towards a healthy body. Plus my friend Francine offered to take a really arty beautiful picture and the thought of myself in that way is very empowering.  Could I be just as beautiful as the stars and models who have the monopoly on provocative photographs? Does that make me messed up? Have you read this blog?

Bare Ass 2008! has actually caused a myriad of reactions.  People think it is funny or really weird, or don’t care at all.  Some have been very disapproving and think I am actually hurting my fund raising goal.  I never imagined that people would be so receptive to my journey and my writing that ironically the bare ass part has become almost a side detail.  Originally, I had thought of it as a kind of hook to get people to forward this blog around and help me reach my goals.  I never once thought the power and charm of my own voice would create the readership that it has.  Once again I defined myself by my ass first.  Old habits die hard.

What do you think of Bare Ass 2008?  Comment below or throw your supportive hat in the ring by  CLICKING HERE TO DONATE.  Final weigh-in for Former Phat (see they mean Phat) Fcuks is Aug 7th. Help me crack $2000 by that time!  and I’ll work hard to take first place.  The first place winner receives a cash prize and if I win the prize will go to America’s Second Harvest through Bare Ass 2008!