A new search engine helpuu powered by GOOGLE, is a simple way to help feed starving children.  You search, you help.  WGWaFA encourages you to read about HOW IT WORKS, set Helpuu as your homepage, and practice Pornlanthropy the next time you are surfing the web.

Every person that sets their homepage as Helpuu during the course of a month, is equivalent to feeding a starving child for about 3 weeks. If only 5% of the US population were to use Helpuu to search, 1,000,000 hungry kids could be fed every single day. Each person who uses Helpuu is making a difference. Remember every bit counts!

Go to helpuu.com right now and search BARE ASS 2008! and guess who is first? I’m not sure if I should be proud of that or not.  As my WGWaFA mission has evolved, the original time-frame has changed from my birthday to 12-31-2008.    Bare Ass 2008: the year I raise $5231 for America’s Second Harvest while getting healthy and post my tasteful heiney shot on the Internets.

I have a long way to go but every bit does help.  CLICK HERE TO DONATE   Donations are completely anonymous and go directly to America’s Second Harvest through my Charity Badge so donate $5, or $1 and get friends to do the same.  And someone tell Stephen Colbert that I’m free in ‘09 for my interview.

Please, please practice porn with a purpose.

 Good afternoon, welcome to Free Rice Friday  my quirky way of promoting a site called Free Rice where for each word you get right, 20 grains of rice is donated through the UN to help end hunger. 

Today’s word – CORPULENT = OBESE

WGWaFA decrees: From this moment hence, Friday March 28th 2008 the year of Battlestar Galactica’s 4th season, I officially prefer the adjective CORPULENT when being described as fat or obese.  What a grand ring this new phrasing could bring to past memories.

• 1984 – Teddy Bear Store Clerk, “What a pretty face, too bad she is so CORPULENT.”
• 1990 -  Being fitted for a new Catholic school uniform, the Tailor takes my measurements and on his sheet notes – JellyKean, CORPULENT.
• 2000-  Drunken, chanting, homeless man at 5am, “White girl with a corpulent ASS.  white GIRL with a corpulent ass.  WHITE girl with a CORPULENT ass….
• 2003-  Dude in Central Park, “Hey beautiful, turn around let’s see that CORPULENT ass!”
• 2008- Evil Woman in front of me in the bathroom line at Starbucks, “Excuse me Corpulent girl, would you like to go before me since you are PREGNANT.”

And White Girl With a Corpulent Ass looked around, and saw that it was good. 

CLICK HERE TO DONATE  to BARE ASS 2008! seriously I am so close to $1000.  I don’t know what yet but I swear to the Corpulent Gods that the person that kicks me over a Grand and emails wgwafa@gmail.com an E-card with their donatation will get a frakking cool prize.   

p.s. I’m up to 5 days of 20min or more of exercise.  and 2 A&A routines. 

Lately I’ve been feeling a little like Mother Theresa secretly questioning my faith, while going around posting and spouting all these inspirational healthy mind and body soundbites and advice.  Of course Mother Theresa never downed 3 scotches followed by a tub of mac&cheese at 2 in the morning. Not that this was what I did while out on the town on Good Friday (sorry Jesus) after a week of being sick and not working out at all, that would be plain foolish…  Or maybe MT did do that, who knows? But that wouldn’t negate all the wonderful work she did.   OK, that’s about as far as I want to go comparing my FA to Mother Theresa. 

I’ve had a tough time lately getting so overwhelmed with lofty goals, that I freak myself out and sabotage the day to day.  What have we learned about goals kids? That you are suppose to write them down and communicate them.  A line from Sharmen Lane’s GPS seminar on goals that stuck with me:

A goal without a plan is nothing but a wish. 

There is a simple equation in my life I have recently accepted as true.  The less I exercise, the more I emotionally and mindlessly eat.  There are many factors surrounding this boo-hoo slide into lethargy but this exploration into my own personal Phat Shui is for another time.  That aside, my positive attainable goal I am now putting out into the world is:  For 30 days I will exercise daily for 20 minutes or more (be it even an extra walk to the train) and do my Abs&Arms routine 4 times a week.

Previously, I wrote about the Abs&Arms routine I clipped from Time Out.  Of course it took me two months to rip the article out of the magazine, two more weeks to do it for the first time, and since that posting on – YIKES 2-25 - I have performed this routine a whopping 3 times. 

However, once was this morning and my ABS are frakking killing me.  That is the problem I have with working out, after a couple of sessions I’m like “am I thin yet?”  But there is truth behind platitudes (that’s how they got to be platitudes if the advice sucked people wouldn’t keep repeating it) patience is a virtue, good things come to those who wait, scotch and mac&cheese may feel like love but that inner warmth is actually a hole burning through the lining of your stomach.  I don’t know if the last one is a platitude but it should be.

As of this morning, I have two days behind me of cardio exercise and 1 A&A routine.  Between now and April 23, Shakepeare’s Birthday, I will attempt to incorporate 20min or more of exercise a day.  And a total of 18 A&A routines. There are immediate positive things you can do with me, CLICK HERE TO DONATE  to Bare Ass 2008!  I would appreciate the show of support.  And if you want to challenge me you can write wgwafa@gmail.com and let me know how much you will donate if I can meet this goal.   Also, you can take this list with you next time you go grocery shopping and support these companies.

The following is a list of historical partners that have supported America’s Second Harvest for six years with an average poundage requirement each year.

 Product and Transportation Partners
Abbott Nutrition
Allen Canning Company
Big Lots
Birds Eye Foods
Bush Brothers
C&S Wholesale Grocers, Inc
C.H. Robinson Company
Cadbury Schweppes America’s Beverages
Campbell Soup Company
Cargo-Master, Inc.
CHEP
The Clorox Company
The Coca-Cola Company
ConAgra Foods
Cott Beverages USA
Council of Supply Chain Management Professionals
CVS Pharmacy
The Dannon Company
Dean Foods
Del Monte Foods
Dole Packaged Foods Company
Dole Food Company
Food Lion 
Food Shippers of America
Freightquote.com
Frito-Lay
General Mills
Greatwide Logistics Services
H.E.Butt
Heinz North America
The Hershey Company
The J.M. Smucker Co.
J.R. Simplot
The Kellogg Company
Kraft Foods
Kroger
Mars
Masterfoods USA
McCain Foods
National Private Truck Council 
Nestle ′ USA
Ocean Spray Cranberries
Pepperidge Farm
PepsiCo Company
Perdue Farms
Pfizer Consumer Healthcare
The Procter & Gamble Company
Publix
Quaker-Tropicana-Gatorade
Round Lake Freight
S.C. Johnson
Safeway
Sam’s Club
Sara Lee Companies
Seashare
Seneca Foods 
Society of St. Andrew
Supervalu
SYSCO
Target
Tropicana Products, Inc
Tyson Foods Inc. 
Unilever
U.S. Foodservice 
Wal-Mart Stores
Walgreens
Welch Food Inc.

What a beautiful sunny Easter Sunday.  My roommate gave me a chocolate bunny.  My new haircut looked especially sassy.  I had brunch with my roomie and 5 hot guys.  Most of them were gay, but since I can then fantasize about them kissing it still counts high on the plus side.  I was on top of the world.  Until the multiple cups of coffee from brunch kicked in, and I found myself squirming in line for the bathroom at a random Starbucks.  The person inside apparently hadn’t gone to the bathroom ever and was now excreting a lifetime of urine and God knows what else.   The squat pinched faced woman in front of me turned around and watching me perform my pee-dance politely asked if I would like to go before her being that I WAS PREGNANT.   

Now I have been dumped right before Christmas (3 times), followed by a homeless man chanting “white girl with a fat ass,” mistaken for a drag queen, cut off by my elderly phone buddy who apparently finds my stories more boring than being house ridden, told by my middle school art teacher that I had a wonderful imagination but unfortunately very little artistic talent, and I once loudly farted while holding a very difficult athletic pose in a bathing suit for a room full of art students.  But none of that prepared me for this moment. 

So I did the only rational thing I could think of.  I thanked that evil, evil woman and took her place in the bathroom line.  I figured my day was already ruined, why make my bladder suffer needlessly? Then I took that sweet chocolate Easter bunny, popped his head off, and stuffing his hollow body full with peanut butter – I ate him up. 

I would feel guilty, but after all I am eating for two now.