Water.  You can read as many diet books as you want, free-base ALLI, or convert the entire universe into Weight Watchers points but if you are trying to lose weight, or simply be healthy – Water is key. Recently I also read that dehydration can be a factor in a poor night’s sleep. That it is beneficial to drink a glass of water right before bed. 

For me this poses an unusual conundrum. Living in Brooklyn, with a low rent that most of my friends would kill for, the only caveat is that I am at the end of a railroad apartment. And rather than walk through my roommate’s room, I have a separate entrance.  So unfortunately  going to bathroom after hours involves a midnight run through the common hallway to the front door.  And don’t forget your keys!  We have new neighbors and I’m dreading the night I run into them in my PJ’s. 

‘Hi I’m the 30 year old girl next door who can’t afford her own place and needs keys to go to the bathroom, but my room’s wicked big.  really it is, wanna see?’ 

This is my water reality.  Upside multiple health benefits.  Downside unusually difficult logistics surrounding my urination needs.  I was going to educate you further with fun water facts and tips. 

But then researching the subject I came across this piece of water trivia that hit me with a blast from the past:

If you drop a frog into boiling water it will hop straight back out again, but if you put it in cold water and heat it slowly the frog will boil to death.

Now this may seem bizarre to you.  So imagine my confusion and utter horror when the Priest who lead the classes my Mother forced me to take in 8th grade as part of my Catholic Confirmation used this very piece of trivia as an analogy for sex.   As close as I can remember, his lecture was along the lines of –  if a boy just came up and demanded sex of course you would jump back and say NO.  But if you think of kissing as the cold water and, oh I don’t know, eventually things will heat up and boil your vagina until Whoops! your virginity has met the same fate as the ill-fated frog.  Something like that…

It was many years before I actually had sex. And not even having kissed a boy yet, my chubby adolescent self simply cried wondering what the poor Frog did wrong that someone would boil him to death.

To sum up:

• Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
• Water before bed prevents sleep dehydration (don’t forget your keys!)
• If you want to have sex don’t throw a frog in boiling water. 
• If you would like some really useful tips on water health that don’t include frogs CLICK HERE  
• If you want to support BARE ASS 2008! CLICK HERE TO DONATE

  2 days til my first LIVE WEIGH IN and Improv show at The Peoples Improv Theater!!  I can’t believe I now have to use FREELANTHROPY to search the web for an image of a boiling frog to add to this post.