Lesson #1 in the mysterious and illusory art of Phat Shui the method of uncellulite-ing your body by unfattening your mind.

Meditation exercise.  Light a scented candle. Pick a scent that makes you want to eat the candle.  Vanilla is good, my preference is a new ice cream flavored candle that to me smells like love.  As you breath in the aroma, empty your mind and bring forth a body image centered visual memory.  The more embarrassing and humiliating the better.   

Closing my eyes, I picture myself in our neighborhood pool as a teenager.  Swimming my favorite activity because under the water I’m safe from how I look in my swim suit. Secretly, I sneak away from the others. Hovering over a strong jet of water in the corner of the pool, I  place my chubby thigh next to the stream.  The pulsating water pushes my extra thigh-chub to the side and in the center of the concave flesh is a small beautiful section of my smoothed thigh.  What I always imagined I would look like if thin.  Must I swim away?

Yes, swim away Grasshopper.  Blow out your candle and with it blow away the negative emotions of your Phat Shui memory recall.  Take the good from this memory.  Whether it be how far you have come from that sad sack loser, or just how silly this embarrassing moment now seems once meditated on by the glow of an ice cream scented candle. Whenever you catch a whiff of the potent smell of the food fragrance you chose, it will now forever contain the bittersweet odor of humiliation and pleasure.  And center your food brain as to your upcoming nutritional choices.   

some tips: 

Red is the color associated with a charging metabolism.  so paint the bottom of your vegetable crisper red to make your body charge like a bull towards healthy greens.

Polka dots are a power pattern and can heighten pleasure.  place a small piece of chocolate on a polka-dotted plate in the middle of your fridge. This will heighten the pleasure center of your food supply’s base and reduce the amount of caloric intake needed to sustain hunger.

Remember the art of Phat Shui is absorbed like vital nutrients, not chewed-on like overcooked steak.  

Swim away Grasshopper.  Swim away.

Do you know what’ s fun about working in an office?

Well do you? Please tell me….

p.s. i know i have used this photo before but they have sucked the originality out of me.  send help.

    You know how sometimes you’ve never heard of anything in the world before and then it’s everywhere?  Sort of like how 1 out of every 3 songs is secretly a breakup song but you never really noticed until you’re heartbroken and your ipod becomes the harbinger of doom.  Recently for me oddly enough it’s been Paula Dean, a Southern style, butterrific, celebrity chef.  One of my favorite blogs, DAINTY COOKING is not only a big fan but she just shared Paula Dean’s recipe for delicious beans and peas.  Even better is that it’s only 170 Calories and 1.5 WW points. 

Here is half the recipe:

Green Beans with ChickpeasYou’ll need a big old Dutch Oven (or the enormous Calphalon sauce pot, which is what I used) and also:2 C. reduced sodium Chicken Broth
1 C. chopped onion
1 t. minced garlic
2 (16 oz) packages frozen green beans, thawed
1 16 oz can chickpeas (my mother dislikes chickpeas, so I suggested corn as a substitute, and I imagine any other bean you fancy would work nicely here, too)
2 t. lemon zest
1 T. fresh lemon juice and …..

HAH see what I did there now you will have to check out Dainty Cooking since your interest is peaked.  But really it’s an awesome site, not only filled with yummy and often good for you recipes but suggested music in theme with what you are cooking.  And Dainty Deb is supporting my BAREASS 2008! campaign by posting a picture of herself on her birthday, not in her birthday suit, but in a bikini. Nice! I enjoy the idea of fabulous ladies celebrating their bodies and loving food instead of the usual bitch fests that can so easily arise in regards to these monopolizing subjects.  As for Paula Dean she is my hero this week in the fight against hunger as she has recently launched a 10-city tour helping bring meals to hungry homes.

One Million Servings Made Possible by Smithfield Foods through America’s Second Harvest

SAVANNAH, Ga. — January 14, 2008 — Not even the “Queen of Southern Cuisine” could envision providing one million servings of meat to the nation’s hungry. But, with the help of Smithfield Foods and America’s Second Harvest – The Nation’s Food Bank Network, Paula Deen will deliver enough food to do just that. Deen, one of the Food Network’s top celebrity cooks, today launched the Smithfield Foods “Helping Hungry Homes™ Across America” tour, the first of many Smithfield Foods hunger initiatives for 2008. The 10-city tour kicked off today in Deen’s hometown of Savannah.   CLICK HERE FOR FULL ARTICLE.

I have enjoyed many a Dainty recipe, made even better by the fact they were prepared by my roommate.  I have fallen out of cooking over the last year or so for reasons I’m still not even clear on myself.  A big part of my journey is not just losing weight but achieving a healthier outlook on food.  That food is not the enemy.  Thanks Deb and Dean for fighting the good fight.   Tonight I will turn down my ipod, wipe away my snotty tears, and have a mug of 170calorie beans and peas in your name.  

So Say We All.       

                                                                                                                                               

This is the scariest site ever: STOP THE HUNGER  It lists numbers, that rise constantly before your eyes about not only how many people are dying of hunger right now, but how much food is getting tossed.  And what hit me is the scary amount of money in the U.S. that is spent on weight-loss programs and products today.  As I have been typing this it rose from 49,000,000 to 50,000,000.  Today.   The number was frighteningly similar for how much food Americans are purchasing and tossing. 

This brings me back to one of the reasons I started this blog.  Because I constantly feel guilty that I get so out of control with food.  But is the answer to stuff everything into my face so that it won’t get wasted by throwing it away?  I have accepted there are a lot of things out of my control, but I also have the power to do something. 

Here are a couple of other sites that I recommend.  As much as I love Google, my new favorite is FREELANTHROPY  which is a search engine powered by Yahoo that donates money to the participating charity of your choice every time you surf the web.  Think of the spin this could put on everything.  Wasting time at work helps a good cause!  Porn with a purpose?  Searching for dating websites and then freaking out when you’re suppose to enter your contact information is now a noble endeavor…

If unlike me, you enjoy your job, are too wholesome for porn, and in a happily committed relationship do not spend countless lonely hours on the Internets,

CLICK THE HUNGER SITE instead.  Here you can donate free food with a just a click through their sponsors.  The site also has a lot of information and various ways to help fight hunger.  Including a cool store, if you are in need of buying presents for people that will help a good cause.  You can even sign up to receive a daily email to remind you to Click, and they will send you a free peace dove pin! 

Where did I find all of this information you ask? I have been reading Scott Hughes World Hunger and Poverty Blog that is sponsored by Millions of Mouths.com  The interesting thing about this site is that it encourages people to not only read the blog, but participate in various forums that discuss information and ideas to end world hunger.  They aren’t asking for donations.  But they do suggest America’s Second Harvest as their charity of choice.

Hey I know someone who is raising money for that very charity! 

CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO HER CHARITY BADGE.

I heard something crazy like she was going to bare her bottom if she raises 1,073 more dollars.  Would that be considered porn with a purpose?