A friend of mine commented to me that I have dated more since my breakup than she has in her entire life.  In the overall context of our e-conversation, this was a compliment.  And yes, it has been quite the bobsled ride.  There are funny stories, ridiculous stories, and ridiculously funny stories in regards to my ups and downs and waiting arounds with the opposite sex.  It fact, the next person who asks,  “Are you writing this all down? because it is wonderful material for your next screenplay.” is going to get punched in the throat.

Last winter, I even received the most horrifying text from a male suitor that I have ever gotten in my life.  I was tempted to write about it at the time, but I couldn’t even retype the words and further perpetuate their power in this universe.  But hey, if you are dying to hear CLICK HERE to donate to Feeding America via my Charity Badge and email me at wgwafa@gmail.com for the full story.  That’s right people donate, you know you want to hear it.

I find that I  struggle with my weight when on a dating streak. I’ll blame it on going out to dinner more, or drinking to dull first dates that have devolved into tiny life interviews making me wish I could just hand them a resume and skip it all.

Check out my special skills.  References can be made available, but only upon request.

But the real truth is that dating downs like Mr. Mortifying Texter drive me straight to comfort eating.  Not that this a proper excuse.  It’s not.  It’s a pattern.  I know it, I own it, but I do it anyway.   Why?  I could state a bunch of bitterly frank phrases like:

• Because somewhere along the line I confused Macaroni & Cheese for love
• Because the only thing that gets ‘Burned’ with Pizza is the roof of your mouth
• Because the delivery man always shows up when you call

Secretly I fear it’s also because, in the moment, it genuinely makes me happy.   There is a movie quote that I love.  From Jerry Maguire, a movie that I don’t love.  But this quote often rumbles through my mind,

I’ve had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

Swap out ‘book’ for Battlestar Galactica and ‘bath’ for ice cream, and I hear you girl!

Not to say that this is anyone’s fault. But sometimes regardless of knowledge, comfort is needed.  Somewhere along the line I chose eating for comfort and have relied on food as Plan B on many a post-date night.

I know it, I own it, but I no longer hate myself for doing it.  And I am hopeful that as I continue to find new things that bring me happiness, I won’t do it as often. But it’s a tough world out there, and sometimes comfort is needed.  Here is a great way you can share a little comfort and help support Feeding America if you are unable to donate.

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
Feeding America proudly partners with Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for the “Share a Little Comfort” campaign. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is one of America’s classic comfort foods. Knowing the comfort that a simple dish like macaroni and cheese can bring to tables across the country, Kraft is sharing that feeling with those in need with this campaign. Now, with the simple click of a mouse, anyone who visits www.ShareALittleComfort.com can contribute a box to Feeding America. Every click means that one box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese will help feed the hungry … up to one million boxes! Kraft will be making a $100,000 contribution in conjunction with “Share a Little Comfort”. Please visit www.ShareALittleComfort.com to donate a box today.

I went to see Mel&EL at Comix last night and it was amazing.  They are an incredibly funny comic duo, with a deliciously bawdy sense of humor and since Mel& El have been friends since childhood there is a very endearing emotional center to their hilarious lifeshare.  Last night they performed one of my favorite songs.  If only I was 30 when I was 20.

Fav line: I could have spent 10 more years knowing I was friggin’ hot.

I have known the El of Mel& El since I was in college and watching her perform in front of this huge audience in a New York city comedy club, all I could think was, “Look at us! living in the future”

I can’t take credit for that line, it actually came from a childhood friend of mine who I knew only in first through third grade at a Catholic school in GA. She recently tracked me down via Facebook.  I moved around a lot growing up and was shocked that this childhood pal found me.  My biggest memory of that muggy Southern time was that the shriveled Nun who ‘taught’ art forced us to use only the yellow crayon to color people’s skin in our ALL SAINTS coloring book.  So even if you owned a peach or flesh crayon, you ended up with a book of jaundiced Saints.  To this day my sister won’t watch the Simpsons because they are Yellow.  I was pleasantly surprised when this long ago classmate and Catholic school survivor wrote me and electronically extolled,  Look at us! living in the future.

Watching El on stage last night, I flashed back to a time in college when I was frustrated by not getting cast in our theater department.  My boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend? I can’t remember we flipped back and forth a lot, tried to make me feel better by pointing out that El and I were the only girls called back for all three shows that semester.  I should be encouraged by the fact that I was even in the same category as her.   I laughed to myself over the memory and couldn’t help but think, look at El! living in the future.

Maybe I’m overusing the phrase but I’m on a sleep deficiency right now.  Thank you to everyone that came to the MEL& EL outing!

For those of you that didn’t CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MEL & EL!

FRIENDS OF WHITEGIRLWITHAFATASS ENTER THE CODE “GAYMARRIED” AT CHECKOUT FOR $12 TICKETS!

I need an outing.

The upside as of late is that I have been going to the gym regularly again (sorry Miriams) and rewriting my Christmas screenplay.   The writing is good. But both things require less going out, and more time to myself.  So the downside is:

• I have watched more episodes of the new 90210, and the Bill Engvall show than I care to admit.  I need to get real cable.
• Continuing the tradition of shaking it to Katy Perry’s ‘hot n cold’ every time it comes on as my official dance break song while writing, I now have an entire routine guaranteed to get me instantly kicked off a variety of TV reality shows.
• Last Sunday, I emailed one of the naked single guys photographed in Time Out.  Because it seemed like a solid idea at the time.  I dare you to guess which one.

Thus time for a much needed WGWaFA outing!  Let’s all go to this:

Mel & El: Gay Married
Thursday, October 8th at 7:30
Comix 353 West 14th St.
Tickets here: www.melandel.com OR www.comixny.com

MEL & EL are about to make a pilgrimage to Washington, D.C. to march for LGBT equality. but first they gotta do a show! MEL & EL: GAY MARRIED is a musical Laverne & Shirley meets Sex & the City with a lower shoe budget and a higher ratio of in-your-crotch comedy. Hailed as “outrageous” by The New York Times and “hilariously squirm-inducing” by the Village Voice, real life best friends and award-winning NYC cult phenomenon MEL & EL have brought down the house at Ars Nova, Gotham Comedy Club, The Box, The Zipper, Birdland, The Stonewall Inn, Therapy, and The PIT. Their hit song “Fagnet” won the Backstage Bistro Award for Outstanding Musical Comedy Number and they were recipients of the Collaboration Award given by the NY Coalition of Professional Women in the Arts and Media. Join the girls at Comix as they ponder the fashion choices of their teens, the feasability of having George Michael as a neighbor, and the likelihood of getting gay married.

GO TO MEL& EL for videos, song clips and MORE

Best part is since it’s MY OUTING, we get a discount:

CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

So hurry, go get your discount tickets and comment below to tell me you are coming and I will make goody bags!   As some of you know, due to some sort of genetic programming handed down by my Mother, I am a big goody bag maker.  Top three goody bag outings so far are:

1. Star Wars Episode One Premier.  The Goody bags I made for standing in line were better than the movie!
2. The Lincoln Center IMAX opening.  I somehow scored 20 free tickets to the first IMAX movie at that theater.  We took up a whole row and it was hilarious to see all those 20-somethings rooting through their goody bags and swapping candy and toys.
3. The original A Very Merry Boston Market Christmas – which FYI maybe making a return this holiday season.  More on that later.

Aren’t you excited??!!  don’t you want to come out and have fun with me and MEL&EL on October 8th and get your very own Goody Bag?  And for every WGWaFA guest who buys a discounted $12 ticket, the $3 saved will be donated to FEEDING AMERICA.

So it is a win, win, win.  Outing, goody bag, charity.  Come on people.

And if you can’t come to the show, but feel really sorry for me, you can still make me feel loved by CLICKING HERE to donate to Feeding America through my Charity Badge.

Pirates vs Hobos

Arrrgggghhh tomorrow be International Talk Like  a Pirate Day.

Since I can’t be bloggin in this swarthy fashion for long, I be sharin with you a right mighty way to celebrate the day. All ye landlubbers who be miserable in yur wee cubes, need to be takin a break and watch yurself me favorite new webseries

Fav line:  “Some aren’t worth the bindles on their shoulders.”